суббота, 24 июня 2017 г.

SnoozePal Cat Hammock

SnoozePal Cat Hammock
SnoozePal Cat Hammock


Looking for a new way to help your cat get some much needed R&R? This value-added cardboard box might be just the ticket for your frazzled feline, especially after the stress of a move to a new home. After all, who doesn't want to laze away a summer afternoon in a hammock?



The SnoozePal combines a fleece hammock that molds to your cat with a heavy-duty cardboard box container to create a unique sheltered hideaway. This cat hammock works for cats up to 20lbs and its smooth cardboard surface

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is supposed to deter scratching. It ships flat for assembly at home for only $34.95, though anyone who has moved recently might have boxes available to turn this into a DIY project.


Original article and pictures take http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/dc/pets/snoozepal-cat-hammock-123554 site


пятница, 23 июня 2017 г.

She is a Total Pussy- trouble with my live in love - Anna Rosenblum Palmer

She is a Total Pussy- trouble with my live in love - Anna Rosenblum Palmer
She is a Total Pussy- trouble with my live in love - Anna Rosenblum Palmer

Pussy Cat

Pussy Cat

She is a total pussy: intimacy issues with my live in love.


It has been almost a year since I invited her into my house, began to care for her, paying her doctors bills, buying her dinner, cleaning up after her when she got sick. I had visions for a future of mutual contentment. I thought she would be someone to share my life with, someone to cuddle up with at the end of a hard day. Instead I have learned that she has intimacy issues. She seems incapable of meeting my needs. She thinks I don’t notice her, sitting there, looking at me through slitted eyes. But I see her, spying on me as I type. She can’t stop me. I am finally ready to face the ways that she is not the partner I need.


1. She positions herself just out of my reach, literally and figuratively.


2. She doesn’t share any of my interests. She is completely unresponsive when I tell her about my fears…things I have never spoken aloud to another sole. She sits in silent judgement.


3. She is prickly instead of soft. I see her vulnerable core, but she protects herself when I reach out to her. She never lets me close. Sometimes she actually swipes me away, leaving a mark on my hand to mirror the slice to my heart.


4. Some nights she never comes home at all. She doesn’t call or text to keep me from worrying about where or whether she will sleep. I lie awake imagining her running in fear from the predators who come out in the darkness of the night.


5. She lets me buy every single meal. Every one. Except that one time she brought home takeout and left it on the front stoop, unrefrigerated. This take out was too gross to eat and she left me to clean it up on my own.


6. Speaking of cleaning, even though she is fastidious with her own appearance she couldn’t care LESS about our shared space. She knocks things onto the floor and holds her head high as if I COULDN”T SEE WHAT SHE JUST DID. She seems to know I won’t really complain.


7. She drinks from my water glass and steals my turkey sandwich without asking. I would share anything with her, but she insists on taking advantage of my generosity.


8. Even though she ignores me during my free time, scoffing at my invites to sit on my lap and cuddle, she never leaves me alone during work time. She wines and cajoles and puts herself in front of my screen. When I finally give her the attention she wants she sits and ignores my offers to help. It’s like all of the lovers I have had in the past. Once I lose interest in them they put on a show to get me back, and once I am theirs again they turn tail and leave. I don’t seem to learn.


9. She asserts her dominance all the time. When I walk down the stairs she pushes in front of me almost tripping me. My anger passes quickly as I see her waiting, searching my face with her beautiful blue eyes. Then I reach her…and she runs away again.


10. I’m starting to believe the studies that say that her kind would actually murder me if she were just a bit bigger. (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/10/31/cat-lion-psychological-traits/74941388/) I want to feel safe while sleeping, preferably with her by my side.


I love her and I want her to love me back. I meet all of her needs, and she ignores my meager requests. She clearly can’t love me the way I want her to.


I have come to

Cat Spraying No More
realize…she is a total pussy.


Anna Rosenblum Palmer is a freelance writer based in Denver, CO. She writes about sex, parenting, cat pee, bi-polar disorder and the NFL; all things inextricably intertwined with her mental health. In her free time she teaches her boys creative swear words, seeks the last missing puzzle piece and thinks deeply about how she is not exercising. Her writing can be found on Babble, Parent.co, Great Moments in Parenting, Ravishly, Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Playpen, Crazy Good Parent, and YourTango. She also does a fair amount of navel gazing on her own blog at annarosenblumpalmer.com.


Original article and pictures take http://annarosenblumpalmer.com/total-pussy-trouble-live-love/ site


вторник, 20 июня 2017 г.

Sexpectations - Anna Rosenblum Palmer

Sexpectations - Anna Rosenblum Palmer
Sexpectations - Anna Rosenblum Palmer

writer's block/ sex block

sexpectations
More intimidating…empty bed or empty screen?

The longer you wait the harder it gets. Literally and figuratively. The expectations rise, as do the sexpectations.


It has been seven days since I produced any fresh new text. And three days since I have produced any fresh new sex. Both of these counts are significantly longer than average.


With each hour that passes I become more tense, and it becomes more difficult to produce anything. Somehow the quickie, usually a low barrier for entry feels insufficient. The post most be meaningful and humorous. The acrobatics in bed numerous. This is tiring. Even to type about. In both areas performance anxiety creeps in where it rarely rears its head.


The solution to both problems is the same.


Forget the intricate weave of insight and intercourse. Let go of lingerie and lyrics. Ignore the verse and vigor. Lower that bar down to the floor.


Step 1. Write a shitty blog post.


Step 2. Have some crummy sex.


It is likely that one of these activities will exceed my expectations. At this point all signs say it will be the sex.


Get write to it. And right on it.


Anna Rosenblum Palmer is a freelance writer based in Denver, CO. She writes about sex, parenting, cat pee, bi-polar disorder and the NFL; all things inextricably intertwined with her mental health. In her free time she teaches her boys creative swear words, seeks the last missing puzzle piece and

Cat Spraying No More
thinks deeply about how she is not exercising. Her writing can be found on Babble, Parent.co, Great Moments in Parenting, Ravishly, Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Playpen, Crazy Good Parent, and YourTango. She also does a fair amount of navel gazing on her own blog at annarosenblumpalmer.com.


Original article and pictures take http://annarosenblumpalmer.com/sexpectations/ site


Roasted Parmesan Garlic Acorn Squash

Roasted Parmesan Garlic Acorn Squash
Roasted Parmesan Garlic Acorn Squash

A few ingredients and 30 minutes in the oven and you have the best salty, cheese, garlicky, tender side dish EVER | spachethespatula.com #recipe
I’m so not prepared. I guess it just somehow hasn’t sunk in that it’s next freaking Thursday.

I am in Florida now, though! My mom had her annual cookie exchange on Wednesday! It was amazing, like usual—full of lots of laughs, drinks, and a silly holiday photo booth-style thing. And now the house is full of hundreds of cookies of all sorts. A very good situation indeed


A few ingredients and 30 minutes in the oven and you have the best salty, cheese, garlicky, tender side dish EVER | spachethespatula.com #recipe

This, however, is not cookies, or overtly sweet (though I do have a sweeter acorn squash recipe right here), but it is crazy tasty. Anything with “Parmesan Garlic” in the title kinda has to be just by definition alone, ya know?


It’s also super simple and requires only a few ingredients and 30 minutes in the oven.


The results are something tender and soft with a salty crunch from crisped up parmesan cheese. If you’re having a salty snack craving, this is such the answer.


A few ingredients and 30 minutes in the oven and you have the best salty, cheese, garlicky, tender side dish EVER | spachethespatula.com #recipe

Acorn squash is awesome to work with because you don’t have to skin them like you do with a butternut or pumpkin. It gets tender enough when cooked that you can just eat it (like with delicata squash).


By the way, if you’re not a garlic fan (weird…), you can omit the garlic powder and you’ll still be left with something salty, cheesy, and awesome. You could even try switching it up with other spices. Thyme would be lovely

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, as would just a teeny tiny bit of nutmeg!


A few ingredients and 30 minutes in the oven and you have the best salty, cheese, garlicky, tender side dish EVER | spachethespatula.com #recipe

Print


Original article and pictures take http://www.spachethespatula.com/roasted-parmesan-garlic-acorn-squash/#_a5y_p=4314431 site


воскресенье, 18 июня 2017 г.

Removing Cat Urine Smell from Carpet!

Removing Cat Urine Smell from Carpet!
Removing Cat Urine Smell from Carpet!

cat urine on carpet

Tip #4: When my fiance let a roommate move in he had a big dog and kept it in his room a lot and didn't clean up after him as often as he should. Yuck - we used the shampoo for the cleaner - going over it twice then we used Oxy Clean twice and then clean, hot water twice - that did the trick. It takes work no matter what but it's worth a try. There's also a product called Pets and Kids on the market that is supposed to take out odors from urine, food and stains, etc. Hope this helps.


Tip #5: We bought a condo in Houston and "someone" left the door open while the work was being done. Somehow, cats got inside and really did a job on the new carpet before we moved in. While inspecting the unit we discovered the gift they had left us. Not wanting to go through the expense of replacing and possibly not matching new carpet, we had the installer return. He said that it was well known that you could get this and other terrible odors out by using Original Downey fabric softener, mixed half and half with water. I had never heard of it. We paid him to do the job and the odor was gone and stayed gone. We

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replace with hardwood flooring six years later and it had not returned. I believed he used the mixture in a carpet machine, but the order was gone. I sure hope this helps.


Tip #6: My brother had a similar problem. He bought a house that previously housed an old, incontinent dog. He shampooed the carpets and boy did that cause the odour to "bloom". It was AWFUL! He borrowed an ozone machine from my mom and left it on in the house and went away for the weekend. When he came back the smell was gone and permanently, too! It also works on a rotten milk smell. My mom didn't know but her milk fell over in the trunk of her car and spilt everywhere, and on a hot day, too! She cleaned it up as best she could but still the rotten milk smell persisted. Many weeks later she bought an ozone machine and turned it on in her trunk with the lid closed for a weekend and now you would never know what happened! An ozone machine works wonders on a house permeated with cigarette smoke or an overflowed toilet smell! There's almost nothing that thing can't handle! Unfortunately, my mom has lent the ozone machine out to so many people with odor problems that it finally died and now I can't use it when I want it! Sorry, I can't tell you where to buy it. I think she got it from her naturopath doctor or a health food store. Best of success which your situation.


Tip #7: You didn't mention the color of the carpet but mine is white berber with brown flecks. I finally ended up using a carpet shampooer with hot water, a small amount of "flavored" bleach, and a commercial grease cleaner called Castrol sold at O'Reilly auto parts stores. The Castrol is very concentrated so I only used a very small amount. Of course, it brightened the carpet but the smell from the bleach took about 3 days to dissipate. Of course, if you don't have white carpet, just try the Castrol and hot water rinse with a carpet shampooer. You can also use a black light on the area to see how much of the pee you are getting out.


Tip #8: I tried everything and I found what works best for me is filling a spray bottle with vinegar (white) and adding some vanilla....spray it on anything and everything with the smell, works like a charm. Even use it outside my apt where the neighborhood cats pee in the yard, makes that go away too. Leaves a nice vanilla scent to linger....after vinegar dries.


Tip #9: You can use a product called Nature's Miracle specifically for cats. It will say so on the bottle. I had the same problem where our cat urinated along about 4 feet of wall. I tried lots of stuff before I found this. It works. It is expensive though. About $30.00 per gallon, and I used two for the space I am talking about. You put it in a sprinkle water can and totally saturate the carpet all the way thru the pad, to the floor. Then you scrub it in, blot up the excess and let it dry. Sometimes takes a week or two to get totally dry. It worked. Killed the smell and the stain seems less too. We will still need to eventually replace the carpet but at least the smell is gone.


Tip #10: The ONLY thing that has ever worked for me, and I've tried every homemade concoction and store bought solution ever made, is saturating area with Nature's Miracle and let sit for 48+ hours (the longer the better) and then saturate with a strong solution of OxyClean and allow to air dry. The Nature's Miracle neutralizes the acidic Ph in the urine and the OxyClean leaves the area smelling totally fresh. There was an occasion once when I had to treat the area twice with the OxyClean but it has ALWAYS taken the smell completely out of whatever I used it on.


Tip #11:Use 16 oz of peroxide, 1 Teaspoon of dishwashing soap, 1 tbsp of baking soda. Mix all with plastic spoon, saturate spot completely, let dry completely, vacuum white powder when completely dry. Do not blot, rub, etc. mixture, let it work on its own. Dispose of leftover formula as the peroxide will "explode" in container over time. This is fool proof and will work and the smell will be gone. Patience is the answer, let it dry completely.


Tip #12:Use 100% vinegar. Pour on the spot let stand. Let dry. Pour on let dry. And then shampoo. The problem is not the carpet. Its the wood under the carpet that smells. Let the vinegar stand on the carpet so that its soaked into the wood floor. After you shampoo the carpet the smell should be completely gone. Once the smell is gone the cat will not pee in that spot any more. Make sure pets are spayed or neutured. Cats will "spray" when they are in "heat" to attract other cats.


Follow my cleaning board on Pinterest.


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Original article and pictures take http://www.creativehomemaking.com/cleaning/cat-urine-smell.shtml site


пятница, 16 июня 2017 г.

Recipe by Jackie R - Key Ingredient

Recipe by Jackie R - Key Ingredient
Recipe by Jackie R - Key Ingredient

Healthy Dog Biscuits

Fido wants healthy cooking, too! These dog biscuits are easy to make, healthy for your dog and end up costing a lot less than a big box from the store!


Ingredients


Directions


Preheat oven to 350. In large bowl, whisk together eggs and pumpkin to smooth. Stir in dry milk, sea salt, and dried parsley (if using, optional). Add brown rice flour gradually, combining with spatula or hands to form a stiff, dry dough. Turn out onto lightly floured surface (can use the brown rice flour) and if dough is still rough, briefly knead and press to combine. Roll dough between 1/4 – 1/2" thick, depending on your dog’s chew preferences, and use biscuit or other shape cutter to punch shapes, gathering and re-rolling scraps as you go. Place shapes on cookie sheet, no greasing or paper necessary. If desired, press fork pattern on biscuits before baking, a quick

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up-and-down movement with fork, lightly pressing down halfway through dough. Bake 20 minutes. Remove from oven and carefully turn biscuits over, then bake additional 20 minutes. Allow to cool completely on rack before feeding to dog. *Brown rice flour gives the biscuits crunch and promotes better dog digestion. Many dogs have touchy stomachs or allergies, and do not, like many people I know, tolerate wheat. Makes up to 75 small (1") biscuits or 50 medium biscuits


Original article and pictures take http://www.keyingredient.com/recipes/318088525/healthy-dog-biscuits/ site


четверг, 15 июня 2017 г.

Raspberry White Chocolate Scones

Raspberry White Chocolate Scones
Raspberry White Chocolate Scones

Raspberry White Chocolate Scones

I made this batch early yesterday morning and once again shared them, fresh out of the oven, with the folks in my office, where they literally went like hot cakes. My co-workers absolutely loved these scones, with many

Cat Spraying No More
declaring them the best scones they’d ever eaten. Let’s see if you agree.


2014 UPDATE: So many people have fallen in love with this recipe since I first posted it. My friend Nancy in particular has made them a family institution at her house and although she has made them dozens of times, she reports that they still consistently get rave reviews. Take Nancy’s advice and try them for yourself.


Print

Raspberry White Chocolate Scones - These raspberry white chocolate scones are a big fan favourite on Rock Recipes and have become a must have weekend brunch item for many.


Original article and pictures take http://www.rockrecipes.com/raspberry-white-chocolate-scones/ site


вторник, 13 июня 2017 г.

Pokemon Go on Home - Anna Rosenblum Palmer

Pokemon Go on Home - Anna Rosenblum Palmer
Pokemon Go on Home - Anna Rosenblum Palmer

My tip is that this is worth a tip.

My tip is that this is worth a tip.
My tip is that this is worth a tip.

The Holocaust Museum reportedly posted a sign telling visitors to stop catching Pokemon there. If you don’t understand how ridiculous this is you are either too young or too old to be reading this blog. As a 40 something jew I am the perfect demographic for, well, my own life. Which is an uplifting thought. Not uplifting? Catching imaginary cartoon beasts in a building designed to remind us of the worst of humanity, and to kindle the flames of hope that we can persevere through great atrocity. That said I have a list of much much smaller atrocities that I think we need to clear up. Rules that should be so integrated as to never need a reminder. And yet I remind you.


  1. If you are merging because of a lane closure just zipper in. One from the left, then one from the right, then the left, then the right. If you accelerate past a few patient cars to merge more quickly it doesn’t make you earlier…it makes you an asshole. It will be quicker for everyone if you just zipper in. Just like you zipper your fly. Most of the time. If you are merging because of a lane closure just zipper in. One from the left, then one from the right, then the left, then the right. http://annarosenblumpalmer.com/pokemon-go-home/
  2. When you get cut off on a phone call the person who initiated the call should call back. The only thing more annoying than static and robotic partial voices is the confusion of my mother as she hangs up and redials for the 3rd time trying to reach me and only getting my voice mail. “But we were just talking, why did it go to voice mail?” Because I was calling YOUY mom. As efficient etiquette ought to require.
  3. When you are out buying a drink in the morning to pick you up or in the evening to bring you back down the minimum tip is a dollar. 18 cents is not a tip it is an insult. A pull of the draught is not hard work, but cleaning up vomit and listening to your drunken uncle Al is…and that coffee takes many hours of barista training. Plus dealing with hungover uncle Carl.If you don’t want to tip a dollar make your own damn fancy coffee drink.
  4. Stop modifying unique. Nothing is very unique or the most unique. Unique is binary. Either something is one of a kind or not.
  5. Lululemon yoga pants should be called
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    yoga pantyhose. I know that word is totally out, but so are your ass cheeks. Sure I love to look at butts. Really I do, but unless you are coming directly to or from the studio just get one of those little ass skirt cover ups. I own about 6 bottoms, but when I pick the ones to have lunch in they are not skin tight. This is the only fashion advice I feel capable of giving. So treasure it. And go get some jeans.
  6. Notorious is bad. Bad bad bad. Not purely famous, except B.I.G. who was both. Its true some people seek notoriety but it is not a synonym for celebrity. To be notorious you have to be well known for a crime or something criminal-like. Jack the Ripper, notorious. Jack and the beanstalk- famous. And fictional but now we are just splitting hairs.
  7. Lateness should be a factor of the length of time of togetherness. Anything that leads to a more than a 10% delay of start time should be considered socially unacceptable. Dead grandma, or car accidents aside it does not make you on time to send a text. If we are having a 30 minute coffee you have a 3 minute grace period. An hour lunch offers you 6 minutes to park. Two hours gives you a healthy buffer of 12 minutes to cover up your damn lululemon pants. I know some people (many?) are more tolerant than me about being late. But there was that one time, ahem, that held a counter for 14 people for brunch for one hour and 15 minutes. I kept encouraging the staff to give it away but for some unknown reason they didn’t. The crowd gathered behind and I wear the trauma like a scar. Holding tables is terrible. Lateness should be a factor of the length of time of togetherness. Anything that leads to a more than a 10% delay of start time should be considered socially unacceptable. http://annarosenblumpalmer.com/pokemon-go-home/
  8. When you start a quick email with “just a quick email…” you reveal yourself as a bad editor or a total hypocrite. Already the email is not as quick as it could have been. Ditto for “just a note to say…” Guess what the note will do even if you don’t start it that way…it will say whatever the fuck you want it to say. You are the author of the note. When you start a quick email with “just a quick email…” you reveal yourself as a bad editor or a total hypocrite. http://annarosenblumpalmer.com/pokemon-go-home/
  9. Only hold tables if more than half of your party is present. I know lots of restaurants regulate this (see number 7, or don’t because it is too upsetting). For those that don’t we should have a little sensitivity to the people who are hungry behind us. If you keep giving up tables maybe you will stop going out with your late friends. That’s a win-win. Quick tip…if some of your most beloved friends run late invite them over for a drink before dinner. Then you all depart together, sometimes even within the same hour you imagined.
  10. Have a water between EVERY beverage. Even water. Then you are less likely to need to be scraped off the booth and piled into an Uber. Plus you won’t be (as) hung over when you head to the coffee shop. This is increase your chances of tipping and seeming less like Uncle Al. But when you pee, and you will pee please follow the guideline in number 10.
  11. Always lift the seat. This time I am not talking to the dudes. You do it (for the most part.) I am checking in with the ladies. If you are in public and hovering above the toilet (which I assume most of us do) just lift the seat. This can be done with your foot if you have germ issues and enough yoga practice. See then the spray doesn’t cover the seat for those people that (for some unknown reason) choose to sit down. Lift it and then lower it. Then no one has to deal with the second worst thing that can happen in a public rest room. Ladies…f you are in public and hovering above the toilet (which I assume most of us do) just lift the seat. http://annarosenblumpalmer.com/pokemon-go-home/
  12. The worst thing that can happen in a public rest room is the walk in. It is often accompanied by the knock in. Here is how it should work. You knock. Then you WAIT before you try the knob. Just a few seconds of patience helps avoid that horrible eye contact that happens when one person is squatting above the toilet with lululemon pantyhose around her ankles. That’s bad for both of you. We need some sort of knock then lock then lift then levitate jingle.
  13. This one is a little specific but super important. If you are an Uber driver don’t make jokes about recording the sex acts that happen in the back of your car. It might creep out your current moderately well behaved fare and lead to a low rating, or a police report.

Just a quick request leave your own rants and ideas below. I am always happy to integrate very unique etiquette into my ever growing repertoire. I’ll read them right when I am back from peeing on the bathroom seat with an unlocked door. I’m notorious for that.


Original article and pictures take http://annarosenblumpalmer.com/pokemon-go-home/ site


суббота, 10 июня 2017 г.

Pet Odor Be Gone

Pet Odor Be Gone
Pet Odor Be Gone


Yeah, you should be mister!


Today our lucky.he’s.so.cute.dog.but.thinks.he’s.a.person decided to lift his leg right on the corner of our couch.


I have tried everything to get rid of pet smells. From sprays, to powders, even enzyme stuff from the pet store. Nothing works well enough and it’s super expensive to keep buying different products.


So I did some research on the internet, and wouldn’t you know I’ve had the stuff to make pet smells disappear completely right in my bathroom!


So if you have a dog, cat, or even a potty training toddler…here’s how to get rid of those stinky smells for free and for good!



PLEASE…


DO NOT COPY AND PASTE THIS RECIPE INTO A PINTEREST PIN.


I HAVE HAD SO MANY ISSUES WITH COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT ON THIS PARTICULAR

Cat Spraying No More
POST.


I UNDERSTAND IT’S EASIER FOR YOU, BUT PLEASE DONT DO IT, PIN THE PICTURE, NOT THE RECIPE.


2 parts water to 1 part mouthwash


Spray area completely and lay newspaper on top


The newspaper will absorb the smell completely…


but if it’s an older accident you may need to do it a couple of times.


**There are a lot of copycats out there with their own version of this formula (they’ve added a more ingredients to it) and they have their own techniques. THIS IS THE ORIGINAL RECIPE THAT WENT VIRAL. I don’t know if the others will work, but I know mine does because I’ve used it. Not only have I used it on pet odors, but I’ve used it to get the stench of vomit off of a mattress as well when my daughter was sick. Give it a try!**


Original article and pictures take http://www.firsthomelovelife.com/2012/05/no-not-new-couch.html site


пятница, 9 июня 2017 г.

Pet Deterrent Spray

Pet Deterrent Spray
Pet Deterrent Spray

Abundant_Health_Logo_White

Pet Deterrent Spray

Cat Spraying No More

Ingredients:


  • 4 oz. distilled water
  • 8 drops eucalyptus essential oil
  • 8 drops lemon essential oil

Instructions:


  1. Pour water, a few drops of soap, and essential oils into a glass spray bottle, and shake to combine.
  2. Spray mixture over an inconspicuous area of your desired surface to ensure that no staining or discoloration occurs.
  3. Spray over the area you wish the pet to stay away from.
  4. Shake well before each use.

Note: Many have questioned the use of these oils around animals. The low concentration of such oils in this recipe shouldn’t be harmful to animals. Contact your veterinarian if you have any concerns.


Original article and pictures take https://blog.abundanthealth4u.com/2016/05/14/pet-deterrent-spray/ site


среда, 7 июня 2017 г.

Parents, Patience and roaming Rome - Anna Rosenblum Palmer

Parents, Patience and roaming Rome - Anna Rosenblum Palmer
Parents, Patience and roaming Rome - Anna Rosenblum Palmer

My mom looking patient in Florida.
My mom looking patient in Florida.

My mother has joined us at the beach on Anna Maria Island. This is her first time in Florida. It’s also the first time it’s been too foggy to see the Gulf of Mexico, which normally glistens outside our window.


I’m acting as if the weather has a personal vendetta against me. My logical child is trying to remind me that weather systems are separate from any individual human. He’s talking about heat flow, and I’m thinking “how we will cram into this small space without driving each other mad.”


Past family gatherings have involved birthday cakes for Jesus, full readings of the declaration of independence, and climbing onto rooftops to feed crackers to cats. I don’t imagine we will make our odd version of magic this week.


Stuck inside for the second day, my mother watches my son’s science video.


She’s known for pulling away from the curb when I still have a foot on the ground. “I thought you were in already.” She steps over relaxing bodies in yoga class. “Shavasana is a waste of time.” She clears half full wine glasses from the hands of guests. “I thought you were done.”


She is not a patient woman.


In forty years, I have never seen her sit still without a manuscript on her lap. If she’s not working, she’s jabbing the counter furiously with a sponge, making endless lists for her daily grocery store run, or unloading a third full dishwasher.


“Who can wait for a full load of dishes?” She lives between 5 minutes and twelve months in the future. At Thanksgiving dinner, she is planning the plating for the following year. At lunch we talk about dinner. On Monday we discuss Friday – because who has any use for Tuesday to Thursday.


Those are superfluous days.


Back at the beach, she watches the video. It isn’t until after she’s started that we tell her it’s 30 minutes long. Thirty minutes of a ten-year-old explaining the hierarchy of matter. As she nears part four of eleven, I look over at her perched on her stool. I expect her body to be twitching.


Instead she is rapt.


When my boys were born we discovered the friction to her perpetual motion machine. She would lie for an hour in the hammock pretending to to be a lost boat at sea rescued by the dedicated coast guard workers. She read children’s books on repeat.


She slowed her walk to the pace of toddlers.


“I hope your teacher watches the whole thing,” she says, my mother, the Harvard professor. “Of course she will, pronounces my excited scientist.” Hmmm, deflects my mother.


At minute 24 she looks up from the laptop. 80% through – I figure she’s given it her best. But it’s not impatience that interrupted her. It’s the activities of her other grandson, who stands across from her, offering color commentary on the video as he snips bits from a soccer sock he’s wearing on his left arm.


The sock stretches all the way to his elbow and the puff of the heel does not please him. So he will customize.


“What is that?” she asks. “A sock arm.” He answers. She simply looks back at the screen.


“I really hope your teacher watches the whole thing.”


Of course she will,” answers the budding scieintist. “It’s her job,” adds the sock arm wearing long haired boy. “Yeah, right…” she mutters skeptically.


In the twilight of a long and lauded career I imagine she has taken some short

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cuts.


She’s not taking a short cut today. Even as the video continues to freeze she sits through the buffering without a buffer. Waiting for her grandson to continue to express his amazement over the universe.


Finally, the video is over. The sock arm walks into the big sliding door facing the blank beach. He bounces off with a reverberation and the boy laughs with glee. My mother is on the other side of the door on the phone with her partner.


She doesn’t see him so he bounces again turning his accident into a bit of physical comedy.


On the phone with her partner I hear her sign off. “Dittto.” I interpret this as a response to a lyrical declaration of love. So efficient. Then come her blond grandsons.


“I love these boys,” she tells me. “I love these boys so much” she says kissing their heads in sequence.


And she does. Present in this moment.


Anna Rosenblum Palmer is a freelance writer based in Denver, CO. She writes about sex, parenting, cat pee, bi-polar disorder and the NFL; all things inextricably intertwined with her mental health. In her free time she teaches her boys creative swear words, seeks the last missing puzzle piece and thinks deeply about how she is not exercising. Her writing can be found on Babble, Parent.co, Great Moments in Parenting, Ravishly, Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Playpen, Crazy Good Parent, and YourTango. She also does a fair amount of navel gazing on her own blog at annarosenblumpalmer.com.


Original article and pictures take http://annarosenblumpalmer.com/parents-patience-roaming-rome/ site


вторник, 6 июня 2017 г.

Parenting without Saying No

Parenting without Saying No
Parenting without Saying No

Parenting without saying no and creating boundaries for our children with intentional wording.

Sometimes it’s hard to admit that hearing no is really tough. And in a very real sense, I by no means want my children to grow up without having ever been told no and my kids still hear no on a daily basis. It is absolutely part of life and one I want them to hear.


However, I have drastically cut down on its use in our home by saying no without actually using the word. And in cutting down, it has made use of the word more effective for us. So why would I advocate for adopting the “parenting without saying no” approach?


Very simply… because they listen better.


The way we are hard wired as humans is to listen to the sentence structure. We sometimes hear the first part of a sentence, almost always hear the last part, but rarely hear the middle unless we have our complete

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attention on the person talking to us. And really, what young child is giving us their undivided attention at all times?


Beyond just the way we hear, it’s also important for all of us to have clear directions. If we are given vague instructions, it leaves a lot of gray area. This is because there are a thousand alternatives to “not” doing something, but only one course of action that should be done when told specifically what to do.


So why would we not want to adopt a system that helps our children listen to us better? Or be more obedient?


Read about and listen to my podcast episode on the power of saying MAYBE.


So how do I remove negative words when talking to my child?


It’s really easy to say no… WAY too easy. So it’s not going to be a cake walk to retrain your mind to ditch negative words and actions like “no”, “stop”, “don’t”, “can’t”, etc. but it is possible. It took me a long time and I am still not perfect. It’s all about practice.


Instead of saying “I can’t talk right now” when I am waiting on hold on the phone and my daughter comes to ask me a question, I say “I am on the phone right now. I can talk to you in a little bit”. I do this because I am focusing on what she is going to hear. If she is not giving me her undivided attention, she may only hear “talk right now”. Instead, I want her to hear “on the phone” and “in a little bit”.


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Likewise, if my daughter is in danger and is too close to the street I am not about to yell “Don’t go in the street!” because I don’t want her to hear the last half of it. I want her to hear “Come here please!” or “Move away from the street!”


Alternatives to saying no & using negative language with kids


There are numerous examples I could give, but thought some of the best were in the image above. We have also replace “don’t touch” with “please keep your hands to yourself”/”please keep your hands in your pockets” (we go to antique stores a lot).


Alternatives to saying no to kids even when disciplining and how to help kids understand what you want versus what you do not want.

And my husband is working on not using “my ears don’t hear whining” because she has shut down too many times. Instead we encourage her to use her words and express her emotions in a way that we can understand.


Is it possible to discipline without saying no?


Yes! This has everything to do with the idea of being intentional with our words and giving clear instructions to our children. Using positive phrasing actually has the ability to set clearer boundaries than the word no itself.


Magda Gerber once said “A child who is never told “no” is a neglected child.” And I completely agree, but sometimes it’s also more about how we tell them no, rather than the word itself! We must affirm what our children need to do. Rather than discipline and teach them by telling them what not to do, it’s a lot easier to tell them exactly what we want them to do. In telling a child not to hit, maybe he thinks “Well can I kick?”


When my daughter threw a small wooden ball and it hit me in the forehead instead of saying “NO! Don’t throw that!” I simply said “Ow! That really hurt. Please keep your toys in your hands.”


In the end my parenting has become much more intentional by using negative language and “no” less and coming up with a more positive approach. It makes the power of “no” retain its meaning and has created clear boundaries for my children.


Commentary/Responses to Concerns on Parenting Without Saying No



  • The list provided is simply a visual to help say no less. In fact, that is the thesis of my article. In no way have we ditched the word “no” forever. It’s all about finding alternatives and choices, especially in the hard moments as a parent when nothing is working.
  • Also, the phrasing of “negative language” and “positive language” simply refers to the grammatical English term in that the sentence is or is not negative.
  • For more responses, such as one to the “we will not buy that” alternative, please watch the video. It explains how we say no, divert attention, and create boundaries with our words. Thank you all for your great feedback and responses!

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More stories you may like


Teaching Toddlers Consequences for their Choices

One Step to stop kids from Whining & Begging

When the Parenting Village Doesn’t Exist


Original article and pictures take http://allternativelearning.com/parenting-without-saying-no/ site


воскресенье, 4 июня 2017 г.

PARENTING LESSON #4 ~ Walk Your Talk

PARENTING LESSON #4 ~ Walk Your Talk
PARENTING LESSON #4 ~ Walk Your Talk

PARENTING LESSON #4 ~ Walk Your Talk - be a role model for your children
PARENTING LESSON #4 ~ Walk Your Talk - be a role model for your children

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

When our kids were little I was forever getting told off by my husband for exaggerating my dire threats. I suppose telling your recalcitrant child that you're going to strangle them or lock them in their bedroom and feed them Vegemite crackers under the door for a week, is a little over the top in hindsight. At the time I felt I was justifiably provoked into coming up with these graphic descriptions of possible punishments.


Now I look back I can see that I was probably a little bit excessive - and my dire warnings of their imminent demise were fairly pointless in achieving the "stop and take notice" effect I was trying to achieve. Fortunately I had less morbid alternatives to fall back on and time-out was usually for several minutes rather than several days (although the thought of the peace and quiet of a week's time out was rather tempting at times!)

MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

On the other hand, when the really important stuff was happening, my husband and I were very focused on being good role models for our children. There was no point expecting them not to smoke, or swear, or swig juice from the carton, or say mean things to others, if we didn't behave that way too. There were times when we would fall down in an area and maybe not be as great an example as we would have liked, but our intentions were always good.

If you don't walk your talk and practice what you preach then how can you expect your children to make good choices? Some will manage to find their own way, but it's so much easier if we set a standard and teach them to live up to it. It also helps to explain why you want that sort of behaviour and the reason why it is the right thing to do. Kids have to learn that they won't always come out on top, or be the best and that's okay - it's about developing strong core values that help them through the ups and downs of life.


Walk your talk. Practice what you preach. Take the high road. Forgive and let go. Enjoy and appreciate life. Love with all of your being.
Walk your talk. Practice what you preach. Take the high road. Forgive and let go. Enjoy and appreciate life. Love with all of your being.

LIE DETECTORS


Children have very highly developed radars when it comes to detecting their parents' frailties. They always see the moment when we are telling them to behave in a certain way and when we go in the opposite direction. They seem to gain great delight in catching us in our own moments of inglorious behaviour, so it's best to aim to keep those slip ups to a minimum (or at least hope you don't have an audience when they happen).


We don't have the right to expect our kids to behave in ways that we choose to ignore. If we want them to do the right thing, behave in a considerate manner, react in a non-aggressive way, and generally be decent human beings, then it's our responsibility to show them how to do that.

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If we need to lift our game to achieve those goals then so be it. Maybe parenthood can make us better people as we try to turn our children into good citizens of the world.


We all know the old adage that nobody's perfect and we are always going to fail at times to be the parents our children deserve. But if we have the right heart and the right motives, then the occasional over-the-top threat of Vegemite under the door will probably bounce right off them because they know that their mother is only human. They might even realize that they've pushed one button too many and it's time to back off a bit before she gets to the point of buttering the crackers in anticipation of their week away in time out!


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Original article and pictures take http://www.crestingthehill.com.au/2016/08/parenting-lesson-4-walk-your-talk.html site